Cordyspeak
by Jennifer-Oksana
One of the defining characteristics of Cordelia Chase is her tendency to banter, snap, and sparkle wittily. In fact, the first thing one notices after her fashion choices both good and bad (incredibly short skirts, shirts made of moss, maternity wear by Stevie Nicks) is the witty quippage.
About the first thing we hear Cordelia say is, "Willow, nice dress. Glad to know you've seen the softer side of Sears" about one of Willow's less stylish choices. Not long after that, she grills Buffy about popular culture and having the proper taste in it. These barbed put-downs, snarky comments, and delightfully self-involved non sequiturs came to define the character; thus, getting Cordelia's dialogue right in a fic is one surefire way to make your Cordelia ring true.
So how do you make your Cordelia sound accurately Cordy?
First of all, Cordy is something of a Valley Girl, even if Sunnydale is not in the Valley. She's not a surfer, so she's going to use less "dudes," "gnarlys," and such--thus, avoid the sounding like Jay and Silent Bob. She's not wannabe-street, so not so many "yos," "homies," and other slang. Cordelia, from Buffy S1 to early Angel S4 (it gets harder to do when you're doing Jasmine-Cordelia), is a preppy sort of Southern Californian. She's also among those who use phraseology like "Adjective much?" and "Hello!" and other sarcastic, but not quite ironic phrases. Xander might use phrases like "hooker-ware" about Cordelia's super-short skirts, but Cordelia probably wouldn't.
Second, Cordelia knows her stylish pop culture. She knows her designers, she knows what's in, she knows which celebrities are the hotness and which celebrities are Kato. Her expertise isn't going to be nerdy pop culture like Gunn and Xander. Cordelia won't know her X-Men continuities from her crossover covers, but she will know whether it's cooler to be vacationing in Montecito or Marin this year. Entertainment Weekly and W, to say nothing of People, Movieline, and Premiere, are going to be the kind of magazines that Cordy knows cover to cover. After all, Cordy lives in LA, she's interested in the industry, and she's from Southern California. I would also point out that high fashion remains a major interest of Cordelia's, even as she's grown up, so definitely make sure you know the difference between Nars and Maybelline or Abercrombie and Nordie's. She would.
I would also point out that Cordelia is the master of the put-down. That requires some knowledge of people's strengths and weaknesses, and also some innate timing. So don't just rely on crabbiness; Cordelia puts efforts into her put-downs, and so should you.
Finally, Cordelia is quippy, but not stupid. She might not know what the word "anagogic" means, and the extremes of Wesley's esoteric vocabulary might be beyond her, but as she pointed out to Xander, Cordelia's more about pretending to be stupid than actually being stupid. By pretending to be stupid, Cordelia can get away with being blunt, tactless, and downright rude to her fellow man or woman. Even as she's gained compassion for other people, she's remained fond of the word "bitch," particularly when she's talking to Lilah, the other rude, tactless bitch on Angel (one of Jasmine-Cordy's best moments was dubbing Lilah "stupid bitch" upon her murder), and she's enjoyed taunting those less socially aware and fashionable than her--both Willow and Fred, to say nothing of Xander and Wes, have gotten the sharp end of Cordy's tongue. But just keep in mind that Cordelia's a smart one, even when she sounds like a bubble-headed flake.
